


Problems That Might Need Fixing

by starsnow



Category: Succession (TV 2018)
Genre: Coming Out, First Kiss, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-16 07:28:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28827450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starsnow/pseuds/starsnow
Summary: "So you think me having sex with Greg will save our marriage?  I mean- our marriage isn't in trouble," Tom is in disbelief, sitting on the bed with his head in his hands. "Wait your not call-"Shiv puts a finger to his lips and lifts her phone to her ear, "Hi Greg, sorry to bother you, but I'm having a bit of an emergency right now."
Relationships: Greg Hirsch/Tom Wambsgans
Comments: 3
Kudos: 24





	Problems That Might Need Fixing

**Author's Note:**

> Well this is a very weird show, so I made a weird fic.
> 
> Thanks for reading!

Greg is knocking on his office door looking all jumpy on the other side. Well this is going to be fun Tom thinks as he gestures for him to come in.

"Um, excuse me," Greg says opening the door, "I was planning on leaving for the day and I thought I'd ought to let you know."

Tom glances at the clock. It's barely after 5. He's told Greg that he can't ask to leave; just to go home to play his stupid video games. "What have I said to you before Greg?"

"Uh- I know I don't typically leave until you leave. It's just that I have-"

Tom doesn't have time to sit here and listen to Greg's pathetic excuses. "What could you possibly have to do Greg? You have a little toothache and need to go to the dentist? Find one that's open later!"

"No I just ha-"

"Holy shit! Did they get you for possession? Think they lock you up if you miss your court date? Well I guess you'll find out because-"

"I JUST HAVE A DATE WITH THIS GUY."

"You don't have to yell Gre- date?"

"Sorry, it's just the concert's only tonight and-"

"I don't understand you Gen Zers."

"Well actually, I'm pretty solidly a Millennial. Anyway I-"

"All you young people have the same, very strange relationship with gender."

"Oh I guess I hadn't tol-"

God, Tom hates young people. "Why would you call the girl you're going out with 'this guy'?" 

"Um-"

"I get that 'you guys' is gender neutral now. We don't have a good plural you in English, fine. But it shouldn't go past that. Saying 'I have a date with this guy' just makes you sound gay."

"But I am?"

"What?" Greg can't be saying what Tom thinks he's saying.

"Gay, I guess or at least going out with a boy-a man. Definitely a man, he's an adult-graduated from college."

Greg with his infuriating rambling is just making a bad situation worse. "Why is this the first I'm hearing of this? I thought you said we were friends."

"Well, it never really interfered with my work until now. It's just that this concert's out of the city, pretty far away and Aiden really wants to be close to the front."

Tom starts to imagine some awful, little, twinkle boy grinding against Greg to some terrible EDM, disgusting. "I don't need all the horny, 'Aiden' details, Greg." 

"I didn't think you had a problem with gay people, Tom."

"I don't have a problem with gay people."

"I mean it kind of seems like you're having a problem."

"I'm not having a- just leave. I don't have to deal with this right now."

"Ok, I'll take that as permission to clock out."

"Greg..."

"Bye, sorry for telling you." Greg says as he rushes out the door towards the elevator.

"I hope Aiden is terrible at sex!" Tom yells behind him, then leans back in his chair.

Greg can't be gay. Maybe he's just confused; because Aiden _can_ be a girl's name. Yeah, maybe his date is actually a girl. No, shit, no, Greg once asked if he was seducing him and he said yes. Greg thought he was going to fuck him. When he stayed over, did they almost have sex? Could Tom maybe just not remember it? He spent so, so much money on dumb, gay Greg.

He starts to scroll through his email, but he just keeps thinking of all the weird innuendos he's said to Greg since he met him. He just needs to go home, he needs to go see his beautiful wife and get Greg out of his head.

Tom gets home and Shiv's finishing packing up her suitcase for her flight to Washington. She glances up at him, "Hi, you're home early. Didn't think I'd see you before I left."

Tom goes to kiss her on her forehead, but halfway there realizes he'll be spending tonight alone and Shiv will be fucking some guy in DC and that guy will probably be bi or something. So he ends up kind of whispering into Shiv's hair, "Did you know Greg is gay?"

Shiv stops packing and turns to him, perplexed "I guess, I think he might have shown me some tiny flip phone picture of a boy he was seeing at Kendall's wedding. Why do you want to know?"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

She went back to folding shirts, "Sorry, Greg's sexuality really isn't at the forefront of my mind very often."

"But I think I accidentally took him on a date."

"Is that when he told you he was gay?"

"No, that was months ago, he just told me today."

"So you came home from work early because Greg's gay?"

"No, I came home from work early because I accidentally took Greg on a very expensive date and he came home with me, so clearly he thinks I want to fuck him." Why is this so difficult for Shiv to understand?

"Holy shit, you want to fuck Greg!" Shiv yells and she looks kind of excited? Which is not how she's supposed to react. Shiv is supposed to be angry at the prospect of him fucking someone else. Except they have an "arrangement" that Tom prefers to forget about.

"No, no my honey blossom, Greg wants to have sex with me. Are you even listening?"

"No, you want to fuck Greg, why else would you care if he was gay? This is perfect!"

"Me, your husband, wanting to have sex with Greg, our male cousin, is a good thing?"

"My cousin, not yours. See, you're so cautious about being in a open marriage, not just because of the non-monogomy, but also because you're scared of being able to have sex with men."

"What are you talking about?" Shiv was making absolutely no sense now.

"You just said you wanted to have sex with Greg."

"No I didn't, I was just reiterating what you said!"

"See, you can't get yourself to break certain taboos due to your whole Midwest repression," She gestures up and down his body, "So break them all at once, extramarital affair, homosexuality, pseudo-incest, rupture the hymen if you will. You have sex with Greg; then you won't be so hung up on our open relationship. Don't you understand?" Shiv pulls out her phone and starts scrolling.

"So you think me having sex with Greg will save our marriage? I mean- our marriage isn't in trouble," Tom is in disbelief, sitting on the bed with his head in his hands. "Wait your not call-"

Shiv puts a finger to his lips and lifts her phone to her ear, "Hi Greg, sorry to bother you, but I'm having a bit of an emergency right now."

She continues, "Uh huh, yes if I had anyone else to call I would. It's just that I'm going down to DC and Tom just came down with this awful bug."

"Oh mhm that _would_ explain why he was acting weird at the office. His temperature is up to 102 now. I just need someone here to monitor him and take him to the hospital if anything gets worse."

"I really have to leave right now, the security of our nation may be at stake."

"I can see about Tom giving you an extra day off. Thank you sooo much Greg, I don't know what we'd do with out you. I'll leave the door unlocked, just text me when you get there."

Before Tom can react Shiv reaches into his pocket and takes his phone. "Shiv, really? What if I get an important work call?"

"You're sick, remember? I'll send out a email to have any calls forwarded to your second in command."

"Shiv..."

Shiv bends down to take Tom's hands "Can do this one little thing for me, can't you? You're already halfway there, I know you want to do this, just give in."

He'd do anything for Shiv. He thought at worst that might be taking a few years off work to raise their kids, not this. "Fine" he says emptily. Then she smiled, and oh how he loves that smile.

"You're the best husband anyone could ask for." She pecked him once on the lips, then took her suitcase and left.

He sits on that couch for what seems like hours. He's not _interested_ in Greg no matter what Shiv said. He would know if he wanted to have sex with men in general, let alone Greg. Greg is just a guy that he took an interest in for completely professional reasons. He just really wanted Greg professionally. That makes Greg sound like a hooker doesn't it?

Then the door opens very slowly and quietly. Greg must be trying not to wake him, which is not sweet. It's just a normal thing an assistant would do.

"Tom? I thought you'd be in bed. Are you feeling better?"

"Greg let me ex-" Then Greg's phone chimed.

"Uh, I think Shiv didn't mean to send this text to me. It says 'Hope you give him some nice mouth to mouth' Then a tongue emoji, then a water drops emoji, then an eggplant emoji, then another eggplant emoji, then anoth-"

Obviously Shiv wouldn't give him an easy way out of this. He can explain what's going on like an adult. He's capable of that. So of course he takes that moment to look at Greg's ridiculous, confused puppy dog eyes and just blurts out, "Shiv wants you to have sex with me!"

Greg sort of grimaces. "Oh, is she too busy to? Is this like an efficiency thing?"

Well here goes the civilized discussion, "No Greg, she for, some reason, is under the impression I want to have sex with you."

"I can see that."

"What?"

"I mean I thought that for a while. But then you didn't really take it that far, so I just assumed that how you usually act towards poor people."

"I did nothing to indicate I would ever be interested in you in a remotely intimate way."

"You did call me a lot of sexual names." Tom hates when Greg makes good points.

"Fine, I just have to end this once and for all. We will kiss and, you know, rub our bodies together. I will feel nothing and then you can tell my wife what happened."

Greg, the motherfucker, actually blushes at that and says "At least I'll get some action tonight."

Tom pulls Greg down to the couch. But before they get any closer; Tom starts wondering why Greg would even be willing to kiss a sad, middle age man like himself. Shiv pulled Greg away from what Tom assumes must have been very attractive man date. He knows he isn't always the best to Greg, but Greg deserves to be more than some open marriage fixing experiment. 

"You know you, you don't have too." Tom says softly.

But Greg pulls them forcefully together.

It's warm and strong and different from any kiss he had with Shiv. No, no Shiv, all he wants to think about is Greg. He wants Greg. Greg looking awkwardly around a room. Greg saying something at the completely wrong moment. Greg waking up beside him in the morning. Greg in a tux lumbering down the aisle. No, he thinks as Greg's tongue pushes into his mouth, this was supposed to fix his monogamy problem. 

Greg pulls back, "What's wrong man?"

Tom leans his forehead against Greg's, "I'm so fucking messed up."

Greg just shrugs, and gently arranges them so Greg is laying across the couch with his feet dangling off the end and Tom is straddling Greg's hips with Greg's hands on his waist. Tom takes a deep breath and sinks back into Greg. 


End file.
